


The Secret

by Higgles123



Category: Batman (Movies - Nolan)
Genre: Disney, F/M, Fluff, Funny
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-17
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-13 00:46:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,477
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29518281
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Higgles123/pseuds/Higgles123
Summary: Bane doesn't understand your Disney obsession, nor does he like the fact that Barsad enjoys it too.My first attempt at some Bane!
Relationships: Bane (DCU)/Reader
Kudos: 15





	The Secret

Bane loved you. He adored you. He would do anything for you. He had literally torn men apart with his bare hands just for looking at you incorrectly. He loved everything about you. Every quirk and eccentricity that made you as unique as you were. All apart from one thing. Your horrific obsession with all things Disney. Your love and excitement over what he perceived to be a drawing come to life baffled him completely. When the two of you first began living together, you had been content enough to have just one room full of the Disney paraphernalia you had collected throughout the years, but nowadays wherever he turned in the home you shared it looked like there had been an explosion in your favourite store; which was of course the Disney store. The house was littered with stuffed teddies, cutlery, plates, cups, posters, ornaments; basically anything you could find with a Disney character’s face stamped upon it you had. Now that you were pregnant as well, you seemed to be even more nostalgic for your childhood and all things Disney.

And what was worse was that Barsad seemed perfectly content to help aid your addiction. In fact, no matter where in the world Bane sent his second in command, the man would always return with a Disney gift of some sort for you. And what was _even_ worse was that just earlier that day, he had found you and Barsad in the living room watching _The Little Mermaid_ together. That in itself was bad enough, but then he was forced to listen to the pair of you sing along giddily with a crab that for some completely unknown reason had a Jamaican accent.

“Do you not have work to be doing?” Bane had spoken loudly enough to make his appearance known, and Barsad had jumped immediately, looking almost contrite at having been caught doing such a thing.

“I have finished the task you set,” Barsad had murmured hurriedly. “I was coming by to tell you how it went but Y/N said you were taking an important call and I didn’t wish to disturb you until you were finished.”

“I see,” Bane had narrowed his eyes. “And instead of finding something more worthwhile to do you decided that watching _that_ would be a better use of your time?”

“In his defense, Bane, I didn’t give him much of a choice,” you stood up and smiled up lovingly at your husband. Immediately his face softened slightly. “You were busy and when Barsad said that _The Little Mermaid_ was one of his favourites as a kid, I suggested rather fervently that he come watch it for old times sakes.”

“A cartoon movie about a mermaid and sea creatures was your favourite?” Bane frowned at Barsad almost in disgust.

“What can I say?” Barsad shrugged and grinned. “My penchant for redheads started young. Plus, the seashell bra doesn’t leave much to be desired, you know.”

You laughed and so did Barsad, but Bane eyed both you and his second in command with a rather unreadable look before barking out an order that Barsad had better come into the office quickly.

Bane didn’t want to admit it, but the truth was that when he saw you and Barsad giggling and singing along like two children it had done something to him. It had made him insanely jealous. Even though he was certain that neither you nor Barsad had any feelings for each other, it still stung him to see you two sharing something together; something that he was not a part of. Which was why he was now sat in his office, watching Disney movies on his laptop, just so he could try and understand what the obsession was about.

So far, from his viewings, he had deduced Ariel to be nothing more than a spoilt child who was ready to give up her entire life and go against her father all for the sake of a man she barely knew; Jasmine was an idiot of a girl who thought it a completely sensible idea to go off flying on magic carpet with a stranger; Belle clearly had Stockholm Syndrome and both Aurora and Snow White seemed to think it perfectly acceptable that they didn’t give consent to be kissed by either of their princes. The world of Disney really was perplexing. Not only were the princesses all happy to change themselves in some way for a man, but they were also rather childish and had body shapes that were like something from a men’s magazine. These Disney princesses were everything that women of the world nowadays proclaimed a loud distaste for; you included. Hmm, puzzling indeed.

Bane was so lost in his thoughts that he failed to hear you walking down the hallway until you burst through the office door. Hurriedly, he slammed the laptop shut so that you wouldn’t see that he was still halfway through _Pocahontas_ and straight away he knew he had made a grave error of judgment.

“What are you doing?” you narrowed your eyes suspiciously.

“Nothing, my dear,” his eyes crinkled as he smiled at you from behind his mask, but you were not buying it for even a second.

“Bane?” you pouted, stalking towards the desk with your arms folded across your chest.

“Have I told you how beautiful you look today, my dear?” Bane tried to distract you. “I always do favour that shade of blue on you.”

“What were you doing on your laptop that I can’t know about?” you demanded.

Bane shifted around uncomfortably, trying to think of an excuse. Why was it that he, a man who could reduce grown men into quivering wrecks with a mere look, was terrified by you when you had that look in your eyes? It was a look of stubborn determination, and it was also the look that told him he was a hairs breadth from you packing up your stuff and threatening to go and stay at your sister’s again.

“It’s a surprise, my dear,” he said finally. “Yes, a surprise. I wanted to buy you something nice for our anniversary.”

“Our anniversary isn’t for four months, Bane.”

“And it is never too early to start looking for gifts,” he smiled, reaching for your hand.

You looked at him for a minute; _really_ looked at him. There was no reason to doubt him but for some reason you still did. Others might not notice the subtle things that showed Bane was hiding something, such as the way his right pinkie twitched slightly or that he swallowed slightly more than usual, but you noticed. Suddenly, it all made sense.

“You were watching porn, weren’t you?”

“Excuse me?” Bane sputtered and his eyes widened in horror. “I have never… and I would never want to-“

“-Sweetie, it’s alright,” you reassured him. “I’m not taking it personally. You have needs and the past few weeks I’ve been so tired and feeling sick because of the baby that we haven’t, you know, been together in that way. But if you’d have asked me, I would have still helped you out, if you get my drift.”

Bane snorted in shock. He couldn’t believe you actually thought _that_ was what he was doing. He was horrified in all honesty.

“I can assure you that despite what you seem to think of me, Y/N, I would rather wait months or years to be with you in that way than go and have a few moments of mediocre relief by watching some woman, over acting and behaving as though the orgasm she is clearly faking is the best of her life.”

“Well in that case, why can’t I see what you’re looking at?” you sighed.

“I’ve told you already,” Bane muttered. “You will ruin your surprise.”

“Alright, alright,” you smirked, holding your hands up in defeat. “Oh Bane, look at that kestrel there in the tree?”

You grinned as Bane fell for the distraction hook, line and sinker and you grabbed the laptop from the desk and darted from the room as quickly as possible. You heard Bane growl and his heavy footsteps chased you down the hallway. Turning into the bathroom, you locked it and ignored Bane when he began thundering on the door, demanding that you hand the laptop back immediately. You lifted the lid, typed in the password and your jaw dropped. Suddenly the bathroom door flew off of its hinges and Bane only needed to take one look at you to see that you knew. Damn it.

“It’s not what it looks like,” he tried to explain calmly, but you just burst out laughing so hard that you snorted.

“Oh my God,” you howled. “I cannot wait to tell Barsad about this.”

“You would not dare,” Bane warned you, narrowing his eyes.

“Wouldn’t I?” 


End file.
